Cold, rainy morning, not very long ago in a comfortable booth at Dishoom on St Martin’s Lane.
A motley crew of Dishoom-wallahs, mulling over ideas for Christmas.
ST: (staring intently at glass of Chai) I know I sound like a scratched Mohamed Rafi vinyl, but our Chai is rocking. There is no better Chai this side of Colaba Causeway. (That’s in Bombay. India. By the way.)
BT: (Wearing black hat and Wayfarers, inappropriately, for the setting is indoors) Can’t beat it. Drives away the blues, when you got dem blues…(pulls out sitar and breaks into a blues riff…)
All: (murmurs, wise nods of agreement)
CB: Ah yes. Drives away dem blues….like a bottle of the good stuff….
ST: OMG. LOL. That’s it!
ST: Yaar. That’s totally what we should do for Christmas. The only thing better than our Chai, would be our Chai….with benefits.
BT: (eyebrow raised) Like, pimp my Chai?
ST: Well yeah, but more like naughty chai. Sexed up Chai. You know.
CB: Hmm. It’s gonna have to have a bit of a kick for it to be Christmassy.
BT: Or… how about Bailey’s and Chai…
CB: How about Chai with Dark Chocolate Syrup, chocolate shavings, a little Bourbon, cream.
All: (sharp intake of breath, followed by glances of admiration)
BT: I love it when a plan comes together (chomps cigar…)
And so it came to pass that the Yuletide season brought forth our naughty Chais.
That very same evening, the hot bar-wallahs took a few drams of good stuff (Bourbon, Rum, Cognac) and stuck them in Dishoom Chai. And they saw that it was good and it pleased them.
They dare you not to be tempted by Naughty Chocolate Chai – with dark chocolate liqueur, chocolate shavings, Bourbon and Chai.
And Bailey’s Chai is an outrageous treat. Warm, luxurious, and topped with a layer of fresh cream.
Or Chai Egg Nog – as festive as it gets. With Hennessy VS and dusted with nutmeg and cinnamon.
It’s like a warm hug from a familiar friend. Who you suddenly realise is really pretty sexy. (So then, naturally, you’ll want another one.)
And if for any reason you don’t fancy a Naughty Chai (Hello? Anyone?!?), you can also keep out the chill in the air with a gorgeous Winter Pimm’s, served warm with Calvados and cloudy apple juice, gently spiced. Or sip on our Desi Mulled Wine, infused with cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla and black pepper.
Try them. They’re outrageously good. Seriously, if your Christmas isn’t merry after these naughty Dishoom treats, we’ll eat our slightly old and dirty Indian Christmas party hats.
Available from 14th November.
We have arrived at a very sad, but inevitable and clear choice. As of now, all Dishooms are now closed to diners.
Crisp and organised, Roda Irani leads her daughter through the narrow gullies of Swadeshi Market. “Come, let us get to the café.”
Its not often you get the chance to make 1 + 1 = 3, but if you ever do - you should grab it with both hands. Because these are the moments you will remember, the ones you will cherish, the ones that makes it all worthwhile.
Under a canopy of stars and lights, we welcomed our biggest-ever line-up of exceptional South Asian talent to Dinerama for our Diwali celebrations.
Coronavirus has blown our world apart, and all Dishooms are currently closed. It feels like the right thing for us to do.
While the restaurants are closed, we offer solace in our cookery book, which is most certainly still available to order. May it bring Dishoom, joy and plenty of Daal to your home. From all of us, with love.